On Thursday, Tiger shot an even par, and theories abound as to what happened . Just feeling Augusta out? Has Lady Luck deserted him? Too early a tee time? Too late? Was he distracted by Angel Cabrera’s swarthiness? Or is he simply lying in the woods waiting for his competitors to let down their guard before he pounces with teeth bared like a hungry Bengal on a wounded Impala in a verdant glen?

Or… was it his shirt?

According to tall golf writer Tommy Bonk of the LA Times, Nike Golf scripts Tiger’s stripes in advance. So let’s analyze his past and future rounds based on wardrobe.

On Thursday he was clad in a polo shirt with khaki and pink clay stripes, birch slacks and a white hat. Not much there. Simple tests could reveal if he’s allergic to clay or birch.

Today he’s due to appear in a black mock turtleneck with gray plaid slacks and white hat. Sounds fairly safe to me. Almost banker- like.

Tomorrow: we’ll see a white striped polo with black slacks and white hat. Back to basics. Hunkering down.

And Sunday? A vertical patterned shirt in carmine and pink clay with black pants and black cap, raising a couple of questions. First: What the heck is carmine? And mightn’t we be drawing from the well of pink clay one too many times?

Totally putting aside what might be endorsed as the true source of his course divorce: Pink? Tiger- Pink. Not a match. The board goes back. Finally, what I find most curious: Only one day in a black hat. Hmmm. What could that mean? Perhaps this kinder gentler Tiger is only willing to play the bad guy on Sunday. Interesting.

Now, talk to me about your childhood.